I'm tired to mourn no tears to erase the memories that were seared into my retinas.
#
Now I have the response of labor supply:
"We made a decision regarding the selection process and let you know that your application has been rejected. Your profile is not consistent with that we seek. "
We, the usual, right now it hurts me the money I spent and I feel useless, it seems that my profile is useless.
By mid- month comes the policy change where I work, and a few weeks later the end of my contract.
gray I have a great week, I'm very overwhelmed with work, with the back of my head, with the time change morning, etc.
True, the nonsense that I did not kill me, but part of me has died but not been in a coma ("irreversible?). I completely lost faith in the people (myself and did not have it) and after everything that happened my worldview was mortally wounded and I sometimes feel drowned in hatred and contempt that for almost all that prevents me from seeing anything clearly.
I can not see a kind person something that is not theater, complacency or interest, I can not look at men without seeing pigs on "stand by" or even believe that you can have one as a friend (because it is clear that deep interest in me always lies in the same and when that fades they do with him, how many lies let me convinced otherwise, idiot ...)
As friends is all I can have now, because in my internal forum feel a nausea that prevents me from even thinking about anything else, it is clear that my life will go on indefinitely (and is thus not mean I like it, but God knows and I can not change it). Reduced
both comfortable environment in which refugees and is not a circle, for lack of "points", but a segment (from A to S), and is not that I care too much about that I have not really wanted to stop being single than I does the lesson: At this point I am so lazy and start the process of meeting people, talking, you also know me, or say anything in my life I have no desire to undertake such waste of time.
This has resulted in irc and silences in conversations with 2 lines, blockages in the msn and break with all * in general, sorry if that someone has gone bad, but hey, neither do I have to put up with reprimands or speeches or lust or rudeness of others (which I still play a lot) ... maybe sometimes justified, because no one is for the work to hold my impertinence and BorderÃas which is almost the only thing loose in my mouth (if you do not have the monosÃlavos xD)
Yet every morning when I leave home and forget it where I feel happy, because the air at last autumn forest smells and that smell makes me happy for some reason (I guess that's why I find both comforting mushrooms). I would go live in the middle of a forest that keep the scent that revives me away from everything and everyone and there forget.
PS: Today the workshop will gather at the tables were in the museum, which as expected, there was nobody to me (one understands known), which makes me a freak up in the workshop.
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